EXCLUSIVE // The Wrecks ‘Tips to Get Your Life Back Now’

Step 1) Reflect. Did you even have a life to begin with? 

Step 2) Identify. How is your life different now than it was then? And are you even

sure it’s gotten worse? 

Step 3) Clean your room. Cleaning rooms has been proven to increase mental well-being.  

Step 4) Exercise. That’s gotta help, right? 

Step 5) Be decisive. Decide exercising was barely worth it. And you feel a lot worse than you did before.

Step 6) Relax. Spend the rest of the day icing your knee and watching 2010’s Diary of a Wimpy Kid, directed by Thor Freudenthal – based on Jeff Kinney’s 2007 book of the same name. 

Step 7) Reward yourself. If you’ve made it this far, you’ve earned yourself a treat. Splurge on your favorite takeout meal and stress eat while you neglect your loved ones cries of concern. 

Step 8) If you made it this far, you’ve failed. Step 7 was a poor choice, and you should’ve known that. Go back to Step 3 and clean your room, you little devil.

Step 9) Reflect again. What have you become? Is your current mental and emotional state a byproduct of personal behavioral tendencies exposed by mandatory isolation, or have you succumb to external, environmental, and societal pressures to maintain a constant positive temperament? 

Step 10) _______ ( Write your own step) 

Step 11) Reflect like one more time. How’d it go? Do you have your life back now? That question can only be answered by a certified professional.. aka a psychic.  

Step 12) Leave a review. Not satisfied with our 12-step program? Well then, maybe don’t take advice from a singer in a band. 

Bonus step!) Listen to I Want My Life Back Now by The Wrecks to cleanse your mind of having ever read this. 


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